Where We Beat The Collective Hell Outta 2014

Special note: It’s been a while. No, I mean a loooooooooong while. Well, rest assured that absurdity will prevail in all of 2 zero 1 to the five.

Here we are.

“Where?” you ask.

Here, waving adieu to 2014. You know it? It’s the twelve months on that thing called a calendar. This is typically that time of said year where we reflect, perhaps lament, on things past. We look at the list of shit we didn’t accomplish and deep regret fills our minds. Tears flow. Then…

We view things completed as a great accomplishment. We are awesome.

Now we grab a baseball bat and clobber 2014 over the head. We laugh. We cheer. We realize that we like thumping the year with a wooden skull crusher.

Hmmmm, me thinks we may have serious psychological issues.

We may imbibe. Yes, there will be much imbibing. Libations will flow like a raging river torrent.

Then…

2015.

*applause. applesauce gets thrown*

I know, I know. You’re shaking your head and asking, “Why do innocent smashed apple parts get tossed?”

Simple: because japery, fuck yeah. Period.

Then…

2015 slaps us upside our collective faces. It announces its presence with a thunderous roar.

Yeah, Uhhh, that’s probably a hangover. Enjoy.

I’ve slammed the book on 2014. That was a pun there. Did you get it? Slammed the…ahh, never mind. It is over. My eyes glanced over the edge to 2015 and…

New books in the works for the year 2015:

1) 7 Sins: Save My Soul – Lilith wants out of her lousy marriage. Out of the physical and mental abuse. Out of the life she never wanted, but got stuck in. And out of the isolated presence of her husband. She lands in Podunkville Kentucky and a world of drugs, federal agents, cartel bosses, and Satan. Oh yeah, there’s a midget and a character called Asian Chick. Back off, they’re people too. And…she transforms. I mean, she changes form. Uhh, she, uhh—she gets a little snaky.

2) America 2.0 – It’s 2080 and young Ruth sees her brother shot dead by Mother Land guards. She flees with her family from communist Czechoslovakia, under Russian Unified Interdependent Nation (RUIN) control, for the freedom of America. They must sneak under the electric border, dodging drones, wild animals, and bearded Canadians. Scientists are a scarcity, hunted and killed for sport. UAV’s and SkyDro’s rule the heavens and UNI-Corp is out of control. Ruth’s dad has a secret. There’s a radioactive pitbull. DNA tracking exists. Humans are coded. Twists and turns come out of nowhere. And…there’s a new justice system where, well, let’s just say you’re super fucked if you go to court.

3) Wired is a short story for an invite-only anthology with a Post-Apocalyptic theme – GenetX flooded when Hurricane Katrina hit and their specimens escaped, crawling throughout the city. Drugs allow us to see into the fears, fantasies, and failures of others. Katrina, she did more than just flood New Orleans, she unleashed HOLY HELL on all the land. Are you infected? Probably not, unless you came in contact with THEM. What’s THEM? Ohhh, you’ll see. You. Will. See. And…there’s a Taco Boy. Yeah, I dunno know either.

4) Twisted Fate: Unreal Realities of Life is my second collection of short stories under the Twisted umbrella. The reads will captivate, grab your braincase and shake the shit out of it, and make you want to curl up and hide under a blanket. With the front door locked. I’m not gonna lie, you may spew forth projectile vomit from your mouthhole. Blood could poor from orifices you didn’t know existed. You eyeballs could possibly retract into skullgarage and get lost from fear.

5) There are a few other possible shorts that are in the works where I will stroll through the meadow of your mind and then gracefully tear up the gentle valley of your brain. You’ve been warned. Be prepared.

In all, it’s an aggressive writing year ahead where I will make words happen. I may end up like a surly alligator or I could possibly end up farting moonbeams and sunshine with enough reflective power to blind the sun. And, I will keep up with blogging on a more regular basis.

There’s lots of shit in the works and by shit, of course, I mean really good writing stuffs and, like words n’ other glorious writerly business.

And, as always, if you’ve read anything from me this year that you liked, feel free to comment. If you didn’t like it, what the shit? No. Just kidding, but not really. I blame you. Kidding. But seriously, I do. Leave a comment and I will respond to you via ScatteredNotes blog.

Remember: Writing, it happens. Until it doesn’t. When it doesn’t then you’re no longer writing and then your word-sword dulls and you become a bed loafer.