Voice Happens. Shit Too, But This Is All About The Voice.

IMG_4314It’s here somewhere. *looks under rug. moves couch. opens refrigerator. digs in garbage*

Just because you don’t dig through your trash, doesn’t give you the right to judge me. Back off!

Goddammit! “Come out, come out wherever you are.”


What kinda voice am I lookin’ for – a baritone? Alto? Squeaky? Mousy? Nasally?

What’s that you say?

Oh. Not that kind of voice.


Fine. *throws arms up. stammers off. swears a lot. swears a lot more.*

“What the hell is voice anyway and why do I need to have it?” you blather.

Voice is the YOUR style. It’s what makes YOUR writing unique. It conveys YOUR acute stuff: saucy attitude, bubbly personality, and kick-ass character.

It’s YOUR pimptabulous way of squashing words together. It’s shit that will enhance YOUR oeuvre. Simply put, YOU don’t talk like other peeps so why should YOU write like everyone else. The answer is, you don’t. YOU will write like YOU.

Since you are an impatient bunch, here are two distinct rules to finding your voice in fiction writing. It’s just two, so pay attention.

1. First rule in finding your creative writing voice is don’t look for it.

You can search the entire Internet machine and you will not find YOUR voice. You will seek cyberspace answers until you achieve headsplode.

Don’t try for it. Don’t attempt to create it. Don’t go bugshit thinking about it. Don’t even look for that sucker. Anywhere. OR ever. Because it’s nowhere or anywhere. Until it is, then…

2. Second rule of finding your creative writing voice is let it happen.

Allow it to appear on the paper. Voice happens naturally. When it develops, you will know. Much like an orgasm, LET IT HAPPEN.

Then you’ll be all awooga, awooga. You will chant other things. You will do a dance that makes the happy dance look like it belongs in a retirement home.


*blows you up with all kinds of words. holds hand up in your mug.*

The answer is simple: PRACTICE. PRACTICE. PRACTICE.


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